The Remanufacturing Paradox

“The Saying” “The Paradox”
“If you own the cores you own the market” “If you own the cores, you have a lot of dirty parts laying around”
“He who doesn’t own the core wants to” “He who owns the core does not want to, but also does not want he who doesn’t own the core to own the core”
“No one gets our cores, we destroy them” “How much did you pay that security guard to make sure those cores are destroyed, $9/hr?  Hmm…
“Quality is the most important issue to our customers” “Work it may, shine it must”
“Quality is the most important issue to our customers” “Boss, I just solved our quality problem.  I just figured out that you can’t return a backorder…”
“Order fill is the most important issue to our customers” “We’d be at 100% fill rate if our customers just ordered the parts that we had core on”
“Anything can be remanufactured; we went to the moon didn’t we?” “Not IF but WHY… why did we go to the moon?  Pretty expensive rock collecting mission…”
“Core is a commodity” “Core is an asset”
“Core is an asset” “No IRS, our core has no value to us…”
“Core has no value” “Yes Mr. banker, I would like to borrow off my core payables value.   I know it’s not really an inventoried part, but it’s part of the value of my inventory.  What? You’re confused?  Consider yourself lucky to be in the top 99% of society.”
“Reman is GREEN” “Reman is a dirty business”
Independent: “Reman is better than new” OE: “Rarely but not better than OE reman”
OE: “Reman is better than new” Customer: Most times
“Our variable costs are killing the profitability on this program” “We’ll make it up in volume”
“The customer is always right” “This business would be easy if it wasn’t for the customer”
Customer to Salesman: “We want our parts the day we order them, for a price lower than you can produce them, and the ability to return 100% without penalty if our customers don’t order them within 1 year.” Operations to Salesman: “You promised the customer what?”
   

 Please submit your paradox, as funny or ironic as they may be.   I’ll add it to the list and republish every so often.